Tirar la toalla.

Hay veces en las que pienso detenidamente en tirar la toalla, en dejar de intentarlo al ver que nunca consigo nada. Es difícil ver como pasa el tiempo y sigues justo donde empezaste, sin haber avanzado ni un solo milímetro. Todo parece ir en mi contra, haga lo que haga, me esfuerce lo que me esfuerce, por muy duro que lo intente. No puedo cambiar los errores que en el pasado cometí, y aunque quiera erradicarlos, se hace cuesta arriba y no consigo llegar a la cima. 

Y a pesar de ser frustrante, aquí sigo. Me niego en rotundo a darme por vencida, me niego a fallarme a mi misma. 

Cannot.

Life sometimes is tricky, bitchy and... an amount of adjectives that are so far from fine. 

I used to think that everything is in our hands, that we can change what we have done, that everything can be fixed. But at this point of my life, I realized that I was so wrong. Every action have a consequence, and sometimes those consequences cannot be fixed. We have to accept them, even if we do not want it. Maybe you cry, maybe you laugh... but at the end of the day... when you are screwed up, you shout.

It's agony, it's pain, it's that feeling inside, when you cannot change something. 

Just live.

And we try, and we try, and try, but... what if we can't?

We start running, running with no direction at all, just looking for a new place to be born again.

Do not look back, memories will be there forever, for good or for bad.

Maybe you cannot see where your steps are going...

but why do you want to know it?

Just live.

Everytime.

you have always been afraid of making mistakes; everytime you saw something that scared you, you run away from it. you escaped everytime you had to face your fears, refusing to solve what tortures you. you have been petrified everytime you felt too much, fleeing to avoid the coming rejection.

you decided not to look back anymore but... sometimes you have to look back and fight with what you have been through.

don't let your past to own your life.

Goodnight.

It's so hard when you try to fight but you know that... you are not gonna win this time. However, you do it for you, you do it for the people you love the more. No dissapointment in the facts, just the struggles of a person against the world. Every smile hides all the pain and journeys. You can feel weakness in your bones in every movement you do. You see how everything you had once is dissapearing in front of you, like a dream dissappearing 'cause you are waking up. 

Do not say goodbye little boy, little girl; say goodnight my love. 

I AM.

I AM clumsy

I AM vague

I AM sensitive

I AM inappropiate

I AM weak

I AM eccentric

I AM insecure

I AM optimistic

I AM crazy

I AM skittish

I AM impulsive

I AM nervous

I AM weird

I AM dreamy

I AM paranoid

I AM naive

I AM brave

I AM generous

I AM honest

I AM careful

I AM unpredictable

I AM inevitable

I AM real

I AM imperfect

I AM free

I AM ME.

She.

she is afraid of your words

how her heart beats cause of you

she knows she is gonna suffer a lot

but she refuse to give up 

 this deep feeling inside.

you make her smile and cry 

at the same time consequently

she does not know about tomorrow

but she does not expect anything 

her illusions are breaking down.

you push her to the limit

she betrays herself foolishly

fighting with an unknown guilt

which does not belong to her. 

she is not like a stone,

she can break into million pieces

like a glass with only a thought 

she does not want to lose again

this struggle is not only hers.

she is patient in her own way

she tries her best but fails

know, she is not like the rest

imperfection makes her perfect for you. 

she perfectly know,

she does not confuse affair with love.